Without you
by Jana.aka.Alice
Summary: No. No, you can't be dead, you… You just can't be dead! Please, open your eyes, open your beautiful brown eyes, smile at me and tell me that you are okay! You...You mustn't be dead! Not now! No... Please don't be dead! No... No... (HitsuHina) (Rated T because I'm paranoid)
1. Visions

**Heyo everybody out there!  
I don't really have to say anything here; everything important will be written after the chapter. **

**Warning: The first chapter and some parts of the others will be very sad and perhaps OOC. If there are some Logical mistakes in it, which can happen because I actually write what comes to my mind, please tell me, I will correct them at once.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or ist amazing characters, I own the plot and my OCs but I don't get any Money for it. **

**Thanks for you Attention.**

_No. No, you can't be dead, you…  
You just can't be dead! Please, open your eyes, open your beautiful brown eyes, smile at me and tell me that you are okay!  
You...You mustn't be dead! Not now!  
No... Please don't be dead!  
No...  
No..._

There was a knock on the door. Third seat Hitsugaya tore his eyes away from his paperwork and set the brush aside.

"Come in!" he called and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. Once again he had been working all night to finish not only the paperwork of his own squad but also squad eleven's – the captain didn't know and that was good. Otherwise he would have forbidden it.

"Good morning Toushiro!" Renji smiled at the white haired teenager before he turned around to close the door behind.

"Good morning, captain Abarai, how are you today?" Toushiro answered stiffly before he picked up his brush once again and continued working.

"Fine, as always. Man, I'm still not used to you calling me captain..."

"It will take its time. It was the same for me when I got captain of squad ten." the teenager answered absently and placed the sheet of paperwork he had finished aside.  
He had already finished the captain's paperwork and the reports for yesterday, now it was time to start with lieutenant Matsumoto's...

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But it's been a year since..."

"I'd rather not talk about it." Toushiro interrupted harshly, then froze in realisation what he had done. "I... I am very sorry, captain, I didn't mean to interrupt but I always..."

Renji put him off. "It's okay. I understand if you don't want to talk about it but if I were you I'd rather stop hiding in my office and move on."

Toushiro hung his head. "You don't know what it feels like... It's... It's Momo we're talking about."

Yeah, it had been a year since the dark haired lieutenant of squad five had died. She had been killed by her own captain, Aizen, the traitor; stabbed in her chest when she had at least expected it, fallen to the ground bleeding and finally died in Toushiro's arms...  
It had broken his heart seeing her lying there, her eyes wide with shock but without any life in them.  
Seeing her dead eyes had broken him.  
First his heart, then his will to live on.  
There was nothing holding him in this world anymore. Aizen had disappeared.

The first week had been the worst. The captain hadn't eaten anything until Rangiku had forced the food down his throat and hadn't slept until he had been so drunk of sake that he couldn't stay awake any longer. Even though he was practically still under drinking age he somehow always managed to get his hands onto some liquor and get himself drunk before even noon. After that week Rangiku had been forced to take away her own secret stashes of sake and the head captain had de-ranked the white haired teenager from his post as a captain to a third seat.

"Yeah, I guess you're right once again." Renji sighed scratching the back of his head before changing the subject. "Anyways, when was the last time you slept?"

Under normal circumstances it would have been an odd question but sadly Toushiro knew exactly what the captain meant and groaned in annoyance. "Excuse me, but you don't have to baby me."  
Renji arched an eyebrow. "When?" The white haired slouched his shoulders and tried to avoid his captain's gaze. "Um... Three days ago?"

Renji groaned. "Man, Toushiro, you can't keep this up! One day you'll just collapse from exhaustion! What if you're right in the middle of a fight?"

"I don't fight anymore." Toushiro murmured weakly – and gasped when his beloved stack of paperwork was snatched away from his desk.

"I'll do that for you." Rangiku grinned and wanted to disappear through the door but the white haired teenager was suddenly standing in her way panting because he wasn't used to flash step any more.

"That's MY paperwork! And you WILL give it back to me!" Rangiku knew exactly what Toushiro's reaction was if you snatched away his paperwork; even though she tried every second day at least to see the shocked expression on his face. She handed the stack over while grinning and flash stepped out of the office.

"Lieutenant..." Toushiro growled and his facial expression could have frozen a whole ocean solid.

Renji shook his head and turned to leave. "And if you continue to follow that eating disorder of yours it won't be long until you starve." Toushiro frowned.  
"I don't have a..." He stopped when he realised that the captain had already left.

Sighing he set down the stack paperwork. Paperwork was all he did nowadays. Since... Since Momo had died a lot of things had changed.

He had become a lot thinner. His cheekbones were very sharp and clearly visible under his unhealthy pale skin. The dark shadows under his dead teal eyes showed his excessive lack of sleep and his white hair hung limply over his eyes.

He needed to stay awake. If he allowed himself to drift off into sleep he would be captured in the nightmares of Momo's death...  
With his utmost concentration he kept his eyes open and reached for the brush but when he started to write the report of yesterday's hollow attack he slumped down on the table spluttering ink all over the paper and passing out from exhaustion.

_"__No, I won't!" _

_The girl crossed her arms and glared daggers at the man in front of her. _

_"__Seishini, let me give you one last warning..." _

_"__Get that idea out of your head or I'll do it for you!" the girl threatened. _

_"__I'm just asking you to release your zanpakuto!" _

_"__What makes you think I'm going to release my zanpakuto for you, Aizen?" She spat out his name as if it was something awful tasting.  
She looked down to muster the arrancar's clothes she wore with utter disgust. _

_"__If you don't I'll just have to force you." Aizen smiled cruelly, but the girl just laughed. "_

_I'd like to see you try." _

_There was a spark of anger in the traitor's eyes when the smile on his face disappeared. "Ulquiorra."  
The espada nodded briefly before he sonidoed at the girl, Seishini.  
With a blinding flash of light she had disappeared before his eyes just to reappear at his back and kick his butt so hard that the espada was sent flying. Grimmjow tried to hide his grin as the fourth espada peeled himself off the ground to charge at Seishini once again. She just dodged him. Ulquiorra frowned and unsheathed his zanpakuto but every time he tried to engage Seishini in a fight she just moved out of the way.  
Grimmjow could see the usually emotionless espada get angrier and angrier before he finally got over his pride and stood before the throne Aizen sat on. _

_"__I'm sorry Lord Aizen, I couldn't catch her." _

_Seishini cracked up. "Oh you should have seen your face!" she giggled. _

_Aizen cocked an eyebrow. "Do me a favour and get her down to the lab. I'd love to see her as Szayel's test subject..." he murmured. _

_Seishini laughed. "Well, I guess this will be an interesting game of tag." she giggled. "Catch me if you can!" _

_With that she had sonidoed away. Aizen glared at the empty space she had stood mere seconds ago. _

_"__Curses..." he muttered quietly._

When Toushiro woke up he found himself tucked up in bed.

"Who the hell..." he muttered. "Probably the lieutenant." he answered his own question and threw off the blankets. This was another reason why he tried not to fall asleep in his office: He realised that the lieutenant had obviously undressed him before lying him down.

"That Rangiku..." He looked around searching for his clothes and spotted them on the chair in the corner of his room. When he got dressed his thoughts wandered off to his strange dream. The girl, Seishini, had looked quite familiar.  
Sure, half of her face had been covered by her flame patterned hollow mask and there had been a strange fire in her eyes Toushiro didn't know.  
But still...  
The smile on her face had been everything he had needed to know that this girl – Seishini – had been Momo though she now had a hollows hole in her chest. And she had looked as if she had been at least three years younger than Momo had been when she had died...

"It was just a dream." he thought. "Aizen – Aizen killed her. There is no way..."

Even if the girl had been Momo she would have forgiven her captain.

She would never ignore his orders.

If Seishini had been Momo she would have released her zanpakuto on an instant. The fact that she didn't proofed that Seishini couldn't be Momo.

Even though they could have been twins...

Toushiro shook his head, finished to tie his sash and exited his room.

"I wonder why I had had this dream. It's not as if it had anything to do with Momo's death as my dreams normally do. I could swear it had been real..." he murmured quietly while walking down the corridor to his office.

"Good morning Toushiro." The white haired lifted his gaze from the ground and smiled weakly when he realised that the lieutenant was standing in front of him.

"Good morning, lieutenant Matsumoto, how are you today?" he asked obediently.

Rangiku just rolled her eyes. "I'm still now used to you calling me lieutenant."

"It will take its time." Toushiro answered as he had done the day before when Renji had said something similar.

"That's not what I meant." Rangiku replied. "I'm fine if you just continue calling me Rangiku."

"That was when I was your captain. Now..." Toushiro avoided her gaze. "Now I'm just a third seat and you're my lieutenant." He didn't wait for her answer but walked past her to get into his office.

The stack of paperwork on his desk was enormous and that was a good thing. A lot of work could get his thoughts off Momo and her death...

He flinched when his broken heart gave a painful squeeze and hurried to begin his work but suddenly something changed.  
From one second to the next he felt terribly dizzy, stumbled over his own feet and hit the floor with a thud. But he had already passed out when he met the floor.

_"__Stark." The espada shot Aizen an irritated look but sighed and drew his zanpakuto. "Alright." _

_Seishini sat on a windowsill of Los Noches and looked out of the window. "Why don't you all save your breath. I don't want to kill anybody. That's why I dodged all of your attacks instead of answering them. I didn't even drew my sword and none of you could catch me, let alone harm me. Do you really think you could force me to release my zanpakuto?" She smiled wickedly at Aizen. "Think about it: You forbid your four mightiest espadas to release within Los Noches. None of them could force me into releasing. Do you really want _me_to release?" _

_Aizen stared at Seishini. "I thought this was what I said. I want you to release." _

_"__Once again you sound like a little kid. I want, I want, I want!" Seishini mimicked with a high pitched voice that hurt Stark's ears. _

_He charged at her but just before he had reached her she shot him a flirty smile and stepped out of his way. _

_With a surprised yelp Stark tried to break out of his sonido, failed and shot right out of the window. Seishini watched him, as he desperately tried to snap out of his fall. _

_Her expression was grim but also a bit bored. "You know what?" she asked, her voice suddenly as emotionless as Ulquiorra's. "I've got enough. Now you shall regret that you ever wanted to see my resurrection! Burn! Daremoinai!" _

_Her spiritual pressure was enormous. Ulquiorra groaned while trying to keep his stance. Stark, who had managed to break his fall, was knocked out of the air again. Aizen gasped and Grimmjow dropped to the floor. _

_Seishini's eyes flashed dangerously. Four transparent blue wings opened on her back as she lifted her zanpakuto to slash Grimmjow's unmoving body. _

_The blade had become transparent as if it was made of glass – or diamond. With a battle cry she brought down her sword on Grimmjow's right arm. _

_Flames engulfed the limb and burned it right off the espada's shoulder. She lifted her right hand as she wielded her sword with her left one and drew a circle of flames into the air with her thumb. She grabbed the circle and tossed it into Aizen's direction. The traitor dodged at the last second and smiled. _

_Seishini snarled and somersaulted out of the way when Ulquiorra tried to attack her from behind. She drew another two circles, threaded her sword through one of them and tossed the other one into the air, used her sword to catapult the first at Ulquiorra and somersaulted backwards to meet her second circle with her right foot to kick it right at Aizen who had no time to react. _

_Flames engulfed his white clothes and the traitor screamed in agony as his face was seared away. _

_Seishini watched him with a certain satisfaction while Ulquiorra burned behind her. _

Snap, Tobiume! _Seishini froze at the voice inside her head. _

_Suddenly the flames on Aizen and Ulquiorra were gone. _

_The girl tried to move but her body wouldn't. _

_Suddenly the flames were back but this time they weren't fighting on Seishini's side. _

_The girl screamed in pain when the flames turned on her. Ulquiorra lifted his head a little bit to observe what was happening and gasped as the girl collapsed but didn't drop to the floor but was held in midair by spirals of flames that were burning all over her body. _

_And the spiral's centre was the girl's hollow hole. _

"Aaaahh!" Toushiro snapped out of his visions and found himself lying on the floor of his office where he had collapsed.

Now it was clear. Seishini wasn't Momo. Her sword's name had been Daremoinai, not Tobiume, and she was more powerful that Momo – much more powerful.

He sighed and got up from the floor carefully in case he was going to be dizzy again and sat in front of his desk to do the enormous stack of paperwork.

"Report from yesterday – hollow in Karakura Town" he read and skimmed across the text. "Large hollow, no living people injured, building damaged,... hmm..."

He compared it to another report from squad three and signed the paper – next one.

"A request for more money to repair the leaking roof of the tenth division's barracks... I didn't know about that..." Toushiro shrugged and grabbed his pencil to start writing.

"Dear Head Captain Yamamoto Genryusai..."

_Snap, Tobiume. _Toushiro froze.

Wasn't that what the voice in Seishini's head had said before she had collapsed? Tobiume had been Momo's sword.

Why would Seishini lose control of her zanpakuto when she heard Momo's release command?

_Maybe she lost her memory when she got an arrancar._

The third seat stared at the letter in front of him as if he thought about writing it to his childhood friend.

"TOUSHIRO!" The third seat flinched and drew a thick black line across the sheet.

"Excuse me, lieutenant," Toushiro hissed with constrained voice. "But could you please knock before you enter my office? It would be..." He glared at Rangiku. "It would be very kind of you, thanks."

Rangiku grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Toushiro. I'm here to take you out to training."

Toushiro blinked. "Training?"

"Don't tell me you forgot!" Rangiku groaned. "The captain assigned me to get you back into fighting. I think I told you."

"No, you didn't." Rangiku bit her lip and thought about it. "Okay, I think I forgot. Anyway, let's go." She flash stepped beside him and dragged him behind her.

"Wait! What about the paperwork?" he yelled desperately to get away from the training.

"Don't worry. The captain will do it for you." Rangiku responded grinning while she headed towards the training grounds.

"Well, we've got another problem here." Toushiro muttered when they had reached their destination.

"I can't reach Hyorinmaru anymore."

**Sooo, please tell me what you think of it up to now. **

**I'm very busy with school at the moment so I can tell you that I won't be accurate with keeping a schedule. Anyways, I've got some chapters ready****right now so I'll be able to post even if I'm not able to write on.**

**Please, please, please tell me what you think of it. **

**Thanks for reading****J**


	2. Changes

**Heyo!**

**Here's the second chapter of ****_Without you_****. Enjoy!**

_Are you there? _

_...Hyorinmaru? _

_Can you hear me? _

_Please, answer me! _

Nothing.

The soul reaper opened his eyes and sighed. "It seems like I have lost him when Aizen stabbed me after he had killed Momo." he murmured.

Rangiku thought about that for a second. "Well, let's start practising your sword-skills." she suggested.

"Alright." Toushiro stood from the ground and caught the wooden sword the lieutenant chucked at him. He barely had time to prepare himself before she already charged at him.

He parried her hit with a few difficulties and side stepped to attack himself. 'Let's get this over as fast as possible' he thought but Rangiku whirled around, ducked to avoid his attack and swung her 'sword' at his left shoulder.

With a surprised yelp he jumped back but the tip of the wooden stick graced his shoulder. If this had been a real sword he would have a bloody gash now. "Damn it." he cursed and flash stepped in to attack again.

But the lieutenant seemed to foresee his moves before he even made them. 'This would be the first time that I was beaten by Rangiku!' he thought. This was probably what she was trying.

"Not me." Toushiro muttered under his breath and leaped at the lieutenant once again. But this time she didn't have time to react.

With a triumphant smile he brought down his sword on her left shoulder.

"I won." he stated wiping the sweat off his forehead. Rangiku nodded briefly. "Not bad for not going to train for a year." "I know." Toushiro smiled.

Suddenly the dizziness was back. He tried to keep his stance but staggered before he once again fainted.

_The girl was still floating in midair. _

_The flames were still there but they weren't eating away anything. _

_"It's been a week now." Ichimaru muttered._

_"__I don't see why the flames would have turned on her. Perhaps she gave away too much energy and tries to regain it while the flames guard her body." Szayel reported. "Everybody who touches her gets killed by her flames. I lost a lot of subordinates trying to get her down into my lab." _

_"__Oh, everybody knows your subordinates are manmade so don't try to get my pity." Gin Ichimaru answered never losing his smile. _

_Szayel grimaced. "Do you know how much time it takes me to remake my subordinates? I always need to beg Aizen to get me the right..." He was interrupted by a muffled scream coming from the girl.  
Both Gin and Szayel turned to see that the girl was still burning but this time her eyes were open – and full of pain. _

_"__Oh dear, seems the flames really turned on her." Gin muttered quietly. _

_But suddenly the flames changed their patterns. _

_The spirals turned into concentric circles that were still around her hollow's hole. Szayel gasped when the circles left the girl's body and rose to float above her body in a funnel-shaped formation. _

_With a bang that nearly made Gin's and Szayel's eardrums pop the rings pressed themselves into the girls hollow's hole filling it up completely leaving nothing but a round scar on her chest. _

_When Seishini opened her eyes they were filled with fire. _

_"__I remember not everything you took." she whispered dangerously quiet. "You took my memories, right? I don't remember everything, but I remember something: I'm not an arrancar!" She jumped to her feet and drew her sword. "Burn, Daremoinai!" _

_Flames engulfed her small frame but this time it didn't seem to hurt her. "Muero!" she shouted and pointed her sword at the wall. It burst into pieces. _

_"__Get Aizen my regards. I'm not gonna return." _

_With that she was gone. _

Toushiro shot upright and yelped as his head collided with a squad four member's.

The healer cursed and held his head muttering an apology while getting up and hurrying out of the room.

Seishini wasn't a arrancar. Was she a soul reaper? If she was a soul reaper: Where was she going? And the most important question: Was Seishini Momo?

He didn't get to finish his thoughts before captain Unohana entered the room. "I heard you fainted during training, third seat Hitsugaya."

Other than anybody else she didn't go back to calling him Toushiro. "Yes, that is correct." Toushiro answered quietly. "To be concise this was already the second time I fainted today. Is there anything I have to worry about?"

Unohana mustered him. Toushiro stared back. After some time he looked away. "Please don't tell me again that I'm pregnant to snap me out of my depression. It wasn't funny the first time you did and it wouldn't be if you did it again."

The captain chuckled. "Foreseeing my moves as you always did in training."

"It wasn't hard to foresee your intentions, really. Now, what is happening to me?"

The captain smiled – what else? "All you have to do is keeping a healthier lifestyle. Sleep more, eat more. And I can smell that you recently got your hands onto some sake again, am I right?"

Toushiro hung his head. "It doesn't make any sense denying it, right?"

Unohana shook her head. "Slow but sure I'm suspecting you to have an addiction. You have to stop that at once, third seat Hitsugaya. You're still under drinking age and all the liquor could do some serious harm to your body."

"I know." Why did she always have to know everything? It was almost as if she was looking straight into his thoughts.  
Did she see Seishini then?  
Did she see his inner pain about Momo's death?

"I'll try." he finally sighed and got up from the bed.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto told me that you're still very good at fighting although you still haven't regained your connection to Hyorinmaru yet."

"That's correct."

The captain of squad four smiled – what else. "I think that you will reach your zanpakuto again if you do a lot of meditation. The pain of your loss is still too fresh in your inside. Try to move on and be in peace with yourself."

Toushiro tried to hold back the tears in his eyes when he moved his gave to the captain again. "How? You don't know the feeling! I could have saved her but I was too late! I never told her what I wanted to tell her all my life! I never told her that she's so much more than my best friend to me! How can I forget about the pain in my heart when I know that I'll never see her again to tell her? I thought we were still too young for a relationship of those sorts but..." He couldn't keep his voice from breaking anymore. "Life's short as a soul reaper especially if you're as fragile as Momo is - was!" he whispered and wiped the tears away. "The pain is my punishment for hesitating. I... I deserve it. Maybe..."

"We can't change the past." Unohana explained and tousled his white hair.

Toushiro slapped her hand away. "I'm not a little child anymore."

"But you behave like one. Do you really think Momo would have wanted you to grieve and suffer for such a long time?"

Toushiro watched his feet with a sudden interest and stayed silent. "

Will you promise me to try to reach Hyorinmaru again?" H

e nodded. He would try. Momo wouldn't want him to stop his life as a soul reaper. It was bad enough that he lost his position as a captain...

"Start now, then."

"What?"

"Take your zanpakuto and start Jinzen now. I'll make sure that you're really doing it."

The white haired groaned irritated. "Is that really necessary?"

"You ignored almost all of my medical recommendations." Unohana smiled again. "So, let's start now, shall we?"

"Do I have to?" Toushiro whined.

"Let's start, shall we?" Unohana repeated still smiling but this time her tone had changed.

Suddenly the teenager understood why even members of squad eleven were creeped out by the captain. "O...Okay..." he stuttered and unsheathed Hyorinmaru.

He laid it down on the floor before himself and sat down in front of the sword.

_Hyorinmaru?_

_Can you hear me?_

Nothing.

_I really need you. Please, tell me that you are there._

_I even lost Momo. If you aren't here it's as if I lost everybody who really knows me._

Another memory resurfaced. **A**

**re you sure you're able to handle me, boy? **

Toushiro flinched even after all those years when he remembered the booming voice in his head.

**You can feel my power, can you? I'm stronger than most others. **

_So am I. _

Toushiro's eyes snapped open. "I told him I was strong."

Unohana still stood where she had when Toushiro had closed his eyes. "What is the problem then?"

Toushiro had got to his feet almost elegantly and had Hyorinmaru in his hands. "I didn't lose the connection when Aizen stabbed me. I lost the connection because I got weak. I got too weak to handle his power." The teenager was pacing now; his eyes were still wide from the realisation.

"My power wasn't my fighting skills. My power in fighting was extraordinary but still: My real power was him. I wasn't anything without him."

He stopped in his tracks and whirled around to face the black haired captain again.

"When he asked me if I was able to handle him he didn't ask for my fighting skills or my spiritual pressure. He already knew about that. He asked me for my inner strength."

Unohana hadn't lost her smile but Toushiro had the feeling that it had become a little bit wider with every word he had said. "I couldn't reach him because I was still grieving. If I had had his power I would've gone straight to Hueco mundo and had tried to kill Aizen. I would probably have myself got killed because of my own inner weakness. I couldn't reach him because he wanted to protect me!"

"So what do you need to do now?"

Suddenly Toushiro's eyes got even wider and he began to fall again.

Unohana flash stepped to catch him but when she had the boy in her arms he was already unconscious again.

She carefully laid him down on the bed again and sat down beside. "I wonder what is bothering your insides." she murmured.

_Seishini awoke screaming. _

_"__Wow, calm down, you nearly gave me a heart attack." _

_"__Oh shut up, Ashido." the girl mumbled. "I bet you too had nightmares if you were a soul reaper, got an arrancar and then got transformed back into a soul reaper." _

_"__I tell you, I have enough nightmares just by being a soul reaper living in this place." the strange soul reaper sitting next to the girl stated gloomily. _

_Seishini sighed. "I don't even know where I came from. I know nothing about my former life except that I had been a soul reaper. It's horrible." _

_Ashido stayed silent and stared at the wall. _

_"__Thanks for letting me stay." _

_"__No problem."Both of them stared at their feet for a very long time. Nobody spoke; Seishini dug her memory for eventual things that could help her. _

_"__You know; it's very dangerous here. Especially for a girl like you." _

_Sheishini flinched and glared at him. "What do you mean by that? From what I saw I'm even better at killing hollows than you are! I'm strong and you know that!" _

_Ashido scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I know. But still, you can't stay with me forever. There's a save place for soul reapers. It's called the soul society. You were an arrancar once and powerful arrancar are able to open a garganta to the soul society or the world of the living. You can try to but I don't know for sure if it will work."_

_Seishini didn't meet his gaze. "Will you come with me then?" For a second Ashido stared at her wide eyed, but in the end he shook his head. "I'm here for too long now. I know how to survive here. My goal is to get rid of the hollows here and I will finish what I began." _

_"__I understand."Seishini answered after a while before she stood up. "I actually know how to open a garganta. I saw Ulquiorra do it as well as Grimmjow. Sure, they are espadas and they got their power from Aizen but still..." _

_She lifted her left hand and thrust it into the empty air in front of her. Ashido's eyes got wide when her hand disappeared into nowhere. A grim smile appeared in her face when she turned her hand to the right and drew a bright red glowing circle into the air. _

_The circle's inside began to glow as well before it got transparent and showed a long, dark tunnel. _

_Ashido's eyes went even wider. "That's not a garganta! That's the precipice world!"_

_Seishini turned around. "Is that bad?" _

_The soul reaper frowned. "It's not particularly bad but it's kinda weird... This tunnel should lead you directly into the soul..." He couldn't finish. _

_A cero flashed to miss him by inches. _

_Ashido whirled around, shouting: "Go! I can handle this!" and leaped at the hollow. _

_Seishini hesitated but decided to listen to Ashido, jumped through the portal and began running. _

_Soon she saw light at the end of it and began running towards it. _

**Sooo... Yes I know, Toshiro is fainting a lot and I actually misspelled his Name quite a few times. **

**Anyways; tell me what you think about it. **

**R&amp;R? Thanks for reading!**

**Bye!**


	3. Seishini

**Hey guys, I'm back! **

**Sorry it took so long but my computer crashed down for good and I had to wait for my data to be saved from it. **

**Anyways; I managed to get this chapter up, so enjoy :)**

Toushiro woke up and literally shot out of bed screaming "She's coming!" and sprinted towards the door.

Unohana didn't even have time to stop him before he had already exited the squad four barracks and begun searching for the new spiritual pressure of the girl of his dreams. He searched everywhere in the whole seireitei and soon exited it to search the rungonkai district too – nothing.

"Why isn't she here?" he asked himself when he collapsed on a branch of a tree.  
"I've searched everywhere for you. Why aren't you here?"

Suddenly he heard a terrible scream combined with strong spiritual pressure of a hollow. He left the tree he was sitting in immediately and began flash stepping towards it as fast as he could.

If he couldn't find Seishini he could at last save somebody's life. "Help! Oh, please, somebody help us!"

The teenager flash stepped out of the woods and saw straight away what the problem was. A massive hollow was slowly approaching two small boys with white hair and big dark blue eyes. One was standing in front of the other protecting him from the creature in front of them.

For a second Toushiro saw nothing but the little boy. The teenager remembered that he had been quite the same way when he had been that age.

It only took him a second to unsheathe Hyorinmaru before he charged into the fight. But before he could slice the hollow's head off the creature turned around as quick as a flash and swiped him out of the air with one of its three tails.

"Damn it!" he cursed when he stabilised his fall and leaped at the monster once again. It roared and tried to hurt him with its claws but the soul reaper was too fast. A second later he had cut the hollow's head into halves and its body disintegrated.

Breathing heavily he turned around to the little boys. "Are you two alright?" The children looked at him with their big blue eyes, then ran towards him to hug his waist.

The ex-captain froze. "You saved our lifes!" the boys exclaimed happily. "You really saved our lifes!"

"Um..." Toushiro didn't know what to say. A simple 'You're welcome' wasn't quite suitable – it sounded too arrogant. "Why shouldn't I have saved it?" he blurted out without thinking about it. "I mean..."

The children held him even closer. "Everybody is afraid of us and we don't know why. They're all mean to us and we don't know why. We didn't do anything to them!" they told him in unison.

Toushiro still stood frozen. This little boys were even more like him than he had first expected. He lowered himself to the childrens' level to hug them back in a sudden feeling of affection. "What are your names, little ones?"

The boys blinked confusedly before breaking into a grin at once. "Our names are Tatsuhiro and Tatsumi. What's yours?" Toushiro smiled back before answering with a simple "Toushiro" and stood again. "What were you doing outside your village anyways?"

Suddenly Tatsuhiro watched his feet with an enormous interest and Tatsumi developed a sudden liking for a butterfly that was flying by.

"You know, we're not really supposed to tell you... We can tell you if you promise not to tell anybody else... Can we trust you?" Tatsumi suddenly asked and looked Toushiro straight into the eyes.

"Um... sure."

"We were waiting for our sister." Tatsuhiro whispered smiling broadly. "She's attending the academy for the time being and she visits us every second weekend." He shot Toushiro a worried glance. "You're not gonna forbide it, are you? Because she's practically everyone of our family we have left."

"I'm not going to forbide it." Tatsuhiro sighed.

"Thank god." Suddenly the boys grinned. "You're cool, Toushiro."

"W...What?" the teenager stuttered taken aback. It was a while ago that he was last being called 'cool' by a little kid – to be concise it had actually never happened before.

"You're cool." Tatsuhiro repeated and grinned at Toushiro's confused expression. "It's just because..." He fell silent before squealing happily and jumped away from the soul reaper to throw himself into the arms of a girl that had approached from behind. "Sis, you're here!"

The brown haired girl buried her face in Tatsuhiro's shoulder and laughed as Tatsumi hugged her legs. "Of course I'm here! It's two weeks since I last saw you, Hiro, Tsumi!"

Toushiro froze again.

He hadn't felt the pain in his heart since he had begun going after the weird dreams he had had but there was something terrible familiar in this scene. A brown haired girl attending the academy. A little white boy waiting for her to visit him. The girl calling the little boy Shiro – no, Hiro. Close enough.

"So why don't you want to introduce your new friend?"

"Oh, I totally forgot!" Tatsuhiro wrestled himself out of his sister's grip and hopped down again. "Sis, this is Toushiro, he saved our lifes a few minutes ago."

"You saved my brothers' life?" Toushiro was still looking down trying to cope with the pain in his chest. "You could say so." he murmured quietly.

"Toushiro, this is my sister Seishini!" Toushiro's head shot up to meet the chestnut eyes of Tatsuhiro's and Tatsumi's sister.

Momo.

She had to be Momo. She just had to be!

"N...Nice to meet you." he managed to stutter. This was impossible! Didn't she arrive just a few hours ago?

"So, how long have you attended the academy yet?" he heard himself say. Seishini smiled and Toushiro had to keep himself from screaming because of the pain that roared in his chest. She had to be Momo! Why wasn't she Momo?

"I'm almost ready to graduate." Seishini answered. "I think in a few weeks I'll be ready to look for a place in a squad." She thought for a second before asking: "By the way, what squad are you in?"

The white haired teenager pushed the pain away and did everything to smile nicely. "If I'm allowed to introduce myself properly: My name is Toushiro Hitsugaya, third seat of the tenth division and ex-captain of the same squad."

Seishini frowned. "Why ex-captain?"

"I got de-ranked because I lost a very dear friend of mine as well as my connection to my zanpakuto. I can't even do Shikai anymore." Why was he telling her all of this? Probably because she looked so much like Momo...

But Seishini smiled. "That's really a shame. I couldn't imagine losing my Shikai."

Toushiro shot her a surprised look. "You've already achieved Shikai yet? How?"

The girl shrugged. "To be concise I had it since I can remember. My teachers call me a prodigy because I can do everything without practising it for hours like the others have to. That's also why I can graduate after attending the academy for only one year."

One year? She's here for a year now? How? "Shall I walk you back to the academy?"

Seishini grinned. "Why not. See you, boys!" Tatsuhiro grimaced. "Do you really have to go?" "Don't worry, I'll be back in two weeks, you know that." She tousled the children's hair affectionately and turned around to face Toushiro.

"Shall we?" The white haired teenager nodded. Seishini began walking towards the woods again but soon quickened her pace before she fell into flash step.

Toushiro hurried to catch up to her. "So, Seishini... How long have you been in the soul society yet?" The girl shot him a confused glance. "Why?"

"Just asking." She didn't answer for quite a long time. Finally she asked another question. "Do I really have to answer? You know, it's a bit complicated."

Toushiro shook his head and stayed quiet. Again they were silently running through the woods. The white haired teenager thought about what she had said. "You said you were searching for a place in a squad?"

She turned around looking surprised. "Do you want to suggest something?" "I could ask my captain if he could think about it. We were quite good friends when I was still a captain and we still are. I'm sure he will listen to me."

"That sounds great!" Seishini squealed and jumped to turn a somersault during full flash step. She nearly hit a tree and dodged at the last moment.

"Maybe you should try not to kill yourself before I can even ask my captain." Toushiro commented dryly.

"Oh, come on..." She fell silent. "Well, what shall I call you now that we're getting back into the Seireitei? I mean..." She scratched her ear awkwardly. "If I remember correctly you're a third seat, right?"

Toushiro nodded understanding her point. "I don't really mind. You can call me by my last name if you feel like it or you could use my title too. What do you prefer?"

"I'd like to call you Toushiro if you're fine with it. Or..." She broke into a grin. "Can I call you Shiro?"

Toushiro nearly fell out of the air. "Why would you like to call me Shiro?" he choked out. Seishini shrugged. "It feels right. It also has a familiar ring, like I had once met someone with the very same name a long time ago..." She fell silent again.

Toushiro desperately tried to sort out his thoughts. Was this a very cruel coincidence or was she really Momo?

"I'd rather have you call me Toushiro." he managed. Seishini frowned. "Why?"

"Because I... How shall I explain it? I once knew somebody who too called me Shiro."

The girl's frown deepened. "Does she still do it?"

"I wish she could." Toushiro said quietly slowing down and finally sitting on a branch of a tree. Seishini stopped running too and dropped beside him. "Why?" "She's dead." "Oh." Seishini lowered her gaze to her feet. "Sorry to hear that."

For some time they sat there in silence before Seishini spoke again. "You remember me of my brother Tatsumi." She was still staring at her feet. Toushiro shot her a glance.

"Why only Tatsumi? I thought the two of them are the same?"

"Yeah, Tatsuhiro and Tatsumi are twins. They are inseparable and even though they are like two peas in a pot they are as different as chalk and cheese." Seishini smiled sadly. "Tatsuhiro is the strong one. He protects them both by himself. When he fights he fights for the two of them and he fights like a whole army. Tatsumi on the other side is all brains. He can calculate anything if you ask him to. His memory is perfect. He is able to remember anything he had wants to remember." She was still staring at her feet. "Sure, Tatsumi is able to fight too and Tatsuhiro is very clever too but sometimes I think they had been one person once until somebody split them in two."

"So why do I resemble Tatsumi?" Toushiro frowned. Seishini smiled at her feet. "It's easy. Tatsumi always thinks too much about everything he's about to do. He blames himself for everything that happens to others and believe me: He always manages to take the blame _somehow_, I don't really know how. You too blame yourself for something. I can see it in your eyes."

She wasn't looking at him and still she could read him like an open book. "The pain in your heart is so great that you can hardly bear it and still you put up with it. Maybe you have noticed that I'm not looking you into the eyes." She lifted her gaze but she still didn't meet his eyes. "The pain in it is almost too much for me to bear so I can only imagine how much you are hurting inside." she whispered before adverting her eyes again.

"I'd like to help you but I really don't know how." With that she jumped to her feet again and flash stepped away so quickly that Toushiro couldn't follow her anymore. Confusedly he turned to get back to his squad.

The next day Toushiro hurried to get his paperwork done as quickly as possible.

He wanted to meditate to get Hyorinmaru back, he wanted to talk to Renji about Seishini and he wanted to see Seishini again.

"A request for permission for more soul reaper in Karakura Town..."

He got a fresh sheet of paper, dipped the brush into the ink and began writing. "Dear Head Captain..."

"TOUSHIRO!"

The teenager let the brush drop in shock and ink splattered across the sheet. "Please lieutenant, I'd really like you to knock before you burst into my office."

Rangiku just jumped in to snatch the stack of paperwork off the table. "I'm doing that for you."

A grin spread across Toushiro's face. "Thanks, Rangiku, you're the best." He shot her one last smile before he ran out of the office.

He had to keep himself from laughing at her facial expression as she stuttered to find the right words. "Hey, wait, I didn't..." she shouted after him.

Toushiro grinned again, turned around while running down the corridor, shouting: "And that's third seat Hitsugaya!" Just seconds later he exited the squad barracks and broke into flash step to head for the academy.

Rangiku stared after him through the window shaking her head smiling.

"He's back."

**This would be a great ending for this story... But I'm not leaving it there.**

**I hope you liked this chapter it was a little bit sad on Toshiro's side but I hope I got Seishini`s character features a bit deeper than just her cheerfulness... You see, I've got some things planned for the two of them.**

**What do you think of this chapter? **

**Please review; I love reviews :) **

**They inspire me to write further. **

**So it's up to you ;)**


	4. Mystery - solved Or is it?

**Sooo, school's killing me.**

**I'm so, so sorry that I didn't have time to upload for such a Long time but I'd actually got three Major exams this month, German, Latin and English (no Problem here ^^) as well as three minor ones; chemistry, Psychology and Geography...**

**Well, this chapter is a Little bit longer than my usual ones. **

**So, enjoy reading ;)**

**I don't own Bleach.**

When Toushiro reached the academy he slowed down.

He didn't even know what to tell her.  
Should he tell her what he blamed himself for?  
Should he tell her about Momo?  
Should he tell her about the dreams he had had?  
Should he ask her about Hueco Mundo? Or would he scare her away with that question?

"Have you asked your captain yet?"

Toushiro whirled around to face Seishini who was standing at the door of the girl's dorm. She had her hair in a ponytail and her zanpakuto was dangling from her sash.

When she saw his surprised expression she laughed. "I could sense your spiritual pressure. Isn't that obvious?"

"Sure..." he mumbled. "I wanted to talk to you about what you told me yesterday."

The girl's smile was wiped away immediately. "You decided to tell me?"

"Yeah..."

She flash stepped to his side and began dragging him away from the academy. "Let's go for a walk." she smiled.

Both of them ran towards the woods again. 'I wonder what people think when they see us...' Toushiro thought but decided not to bother. When they reached the same tree they had sat on the day before – Seishini had somehow found it again – they sat down on the very same branch.

"Spill." the girl demanded and looked him straight into the eyes.

And Toushiro spilled.

**_Flashback_**

_I had to find her! She was in danger as long as Ichimaru was alive. _

_Oh I wish she had at least stayed in jail where that snake wouldn't bother her! _

_Yes, I wanted to lock her away. I wanted to protect her until it was no longer in my might. _

_But I couldn't. I could feel her spiritual pressure very clearly now. I was nearly there... _

_The change was so sudden that I tripped and nearly had fallen off the roof. _

_One last flare of reiatsu – then it was gone. _

_"__Ichimaru!" I cursed inwardly and ran as fast as I could. Maybe I could save her. Maybe... _

_There it was! I nearly crashed down the door when I pushed it open. _

_Where was Momo? _

_Where was Ichimaru?! _

_I would kill that bastard for what he had done! _

_"__Momo?" The corridor I was running through opened up into a large hall. _

_This... Wait a second, was that... "Captain Aizen?!" _

_This was impossible! He had been killed, Momo suffered through all this pain because of his death! _

_"__Oh dear, I didn't expect you to return that early! I guess Izuru wasn't enough to keep you busy." _

_That had been planned by him?! "Where is Momo?" I demanded. _

_"__I honestly don't know what you're talking about. I once again apologise for causing such a confusion." _

_This couldn't be possible! Where was Momo? Ichimaru, that bastard! Had he planned this out? _

_I flash stepped past them and froze as soon as I had entered the room at their backs. _

_"__Momo..." I whispered in horror. Was she dead? Who had hurt her like this? Who? _

_I wanted to kill the person – no, the MONSTER who had hurt my best friend. I didn't dare to think about the word 'killed'. She couldn't be dead. _

_Still – the thought was slowly seeping into my mind. It burned every other thought away just like it was acid. _

_"__No." I whispered._

_"__No, you can't be dead, you… You just can't be dead! Please, open your eyes, open your beautiful brown eyes, smile at me and tell me that you are okay!" Tears were running down my face. No.  
"You...You mustn't be dead! Not now! No... Please don't be dead!" I sobbed. _

_She had always been there for me. "_

_No..." _

_She had been my best friend. I had always been that mean to her though she was always my little sun shining over my frozen over world. _

_"__No... Please..." _

_A scream build up in my throat and I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep it in any longer or I would burst into a thousand pieces. "MOMO!" _

_"__Oh, I guess it was careless of me to let her lie around just like this."_

_Realisation slapped me right into the face. "_

_It was you." _

_I slowly stood up from Momo's limp body. _

_"__It was you who slit those lies into her mind until she couldn't even think clear any longer." _

_I gripped Hyorinmaru's hilt until I was sure my fingers were bleeding. _

_"__It was you who let her suffer like this. She had always admired you! She joined the thirteen court guard squads only to be near you!" _

_I was panting by now. I wouldn't be able to hold back any longer. _

_"__She was so proud when she finally got your lieutenant." _

_"__That was also the reason why I made her my lieutenant." _

_"__What?" _

_"__Admiration is so far from realisation. I let your pretty little Hinamori be close to me because even if I had let something of my true nature slip she wouldn't have recognised it. She was too blind to see the true me." _

_That was it. Burning rage was eating my mind away. There was nothing but the desire to kill the monster standing in front of me. _

_"__You were working together." I guessed between my gritted teeth. _

_"__From the beginning." Aizen agreed smiling. _

_He was making me sick. He was making me so sick I wanted to puke. "Aizen! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" _

_I unsheathed Hyorinmaru and icy mist clouded the whole room. The traitors stepped away in time which made me even more furious. _

_"__Oh, don't use such strong words. It makes you seem weak if you don't succeed." _

_He was trying to provoke me now and I knew that but I couldn't help myself. "Bankai!" I managed through my gritted teeth. "Daiguren Hyorinmaru!" _

_It took only seconds until my ice wings had manifested on my back. With a battle cry I charged in and enjoyed the satisfaction when my blade went right through the traitor's heart. Ice began to freeze him over and I stared panting at his shocked expression through the ice. _

_Suddenly his lips twisted into a smile. _

_"__What?" _

_Suddenly there was nothing but confusion. He was standing behind me. How could he be standing behind me if he was standing in front of me? _

_How? _

_Just a second later there was nothing but pain. _

_"__Im...Impossible..." I managed before I collapsed; my icy wings shattering into a million pieces. _

_**Flashback end**_

"That was a year ago." Toushiro finished. He realised that there were tears on my cheeks and wiped them away quickly.

Seishini was still looking straight into his eyes. "I see." she finally said. "But you don't have to blame yourself. Even if you'd been there earlier Aizen would have killed her."

"I know." Toushiro hung his head. "It's so damn confusing. Two days ago I started having those weird dreams. I dreamed of an arrancar girl in Hueco Mundo."

He watched her. She didn't budge.

"She looked exactly like Momo. Sure, she was a little younger and I couldn't understand why but it was Momo. Aizen was there too."

This time he was looking into her eyes.

"He told her to release her zanpakuto but she wouldn't."

She was listening without looking uncomfortable.

"He send his espadas after her but they couldn't catch her. She was too fast for them. She toyed with them for some time before she actually had enough and released her sword."

There was something in her eyes he couldn't read. He continued.

"First it looked like she was about to win but suddenly the flames of her zanpakuto turned on her. They burned on her body and caused her unbearable pain but a few days later the flames filled up her hollow's hole."

Now she was definitely feeling uncomfortable.

"She realised that she had been a soul reaper before she had become an arrancar. She headed for the soul society..."

Seishini avoided his gaze. "Where do you think she is now?" she asked quietly.

Toushiro watched her from the side.

"Her name was Seishini." he told her. "And I think she's sitting next to me right now."

The girl stared at her feet.  
After staying silent for a very long time she began to speak very quietly. "I got chased after by the cleaner. I don't know why I know that it's called the cleaner, I just know it. I nearly got swallowed up by it and when I finally reached the end of the tunnel I passed out from exhaustion. Tatsuhiro and Tatsumi found me there." She paused. "That was two years ago."

Two years? "You've been here for two years?" Toushiro choked out.

Seishini nodded. "I think it's because I couldn't escape the cleaner. I know it should've killed me or at least throw me back in time for at least a hundred years which my body couldn't have coped with but I think it's because I've been an arrancar once."

The white haired teenager nodded slowly. "That's possible." He thought for a second before he grimaced. "I just don't know how this is even possible." he sighed. "I could swear you're Momo or at least have been Momo once before you've gotten an arrancar."

Seishini watched her feet carefully. "I honestly don't know." she mumbled. "They took all my memory of the time before Las Notches. I now know I've been a soul reaper but I've got no idea who I'd been."  
Swinging her feet back and forth she continued muttering. "What squad I was, what friends I had, if I had been in love, who my captain was..." She fell silent.

"What your zanpakuto had been?"

Seishini turned around frowning. "What do you mean by that?"

Toushiro avoided her gaze. "Has Daremoinai been your zanpakuto for all your life?"

"I don't know why not."

"Well..." He didn't know what to say.

Would he startle her when he told her that he was sure that she'd been Momo? Would he scare her if he told her that he thought that Daremoinai wasn't her zanpakuto?

"I think..." He fell silent. "I don't know what to think anymore." he whispered. S

eishini still stared into nothingness. "What do you think of a training fight?" she suddenly asked.

Toushiro frowned. "You mean, with wooden swords or right now?" he asked startled by her sudden question.

"What do you think?" She grinned. "I want to use shikai as well."

Toushiro hesitated. "Haven't I told you about my little... problem yet?"

"Oh, you're right. You lost contact to your zanpakuto when your girlfriend died..."

"She wasn't my girlfriend!" the teenager shouted blushing.

"But you wish she had been, right?" He couldn't answer that. Was it that obvious?

"So do you want to try?" she asked him carefully.

"Why not." he heard himself say. They got down from the tree and stood on opposites of the little space between the trees. "So... Please try not to kill me, okay?" Toushiro joked half-heartedly as he unsheathed Hyorinmaru.

Seishini didn't seem to hear him; she jumped up and down to get a good stance before she got her zanpakuto in her right hand and took a stance. 'She's fighting one-handedly' Toushiro thought and took a stance himself.

_Hyorinmaru? This would be a great moment to reappear... _

She charged at him and he hurried to raise his sword to block her attack. She flash stepped past him and whirled around to attack from behind; the prodigy blocked his back and turned under their crossed blades to face her again.

_Awaken, Hyorinmaru, speak to me! _

Seishini smiled at him through their crossed blades and jumped back to have the opportunity to attack again. With a battle cry she charged in and brought her sword down at his shoulder, which he could barely dodge.

_Come ON! _

"Burn! Daremoinai!" If Toushiro hadn't known what her shikai looked like he had probably run away screaming searching for water to put out the fire that engulfed her body. He jumped back to dodge her transparent blade and reflected the ring of fire she threw at him.

_Hyorinmaru! Please! _

The little bells at the handle of her sword gave a soft ring as she drew a circle of flames into the air and grabbed it with her right hand. Out of the circle grew a beautiful flower made from flames. "Hana Kasai!" she shouted and lifted it to hurl it at Toshirou who ducked behind a tree at the last moment.

_Hyorinmaru! Come back! NOW! _

**You know who this girl is, right?  
**Toushiro flinched. He hadn't heard that booming voice in his head for quite some time.  
_Hyorinmaru! You're back!  
_**You have got to be careful. **

Seishini had come around the tree and raised her sword to launch yet another fireball at him. Toshiro dodged at the last second.

_Careful?_  
**You have to remember that Momo had a reason to become Seishini.  
**_What? _

Toshiro felt his sword move on its own when Hyorinmaru took over to reflect Seishini's attack.

**Aizen's attack caused major damage to her sanity; that's why she turned into a hollow when she died. But her zanpakuto tried to keep Momo from getting a senseless monster and melted their souls together. That's how Seishini was born. **

A painful tug in his heart let him lose his concentration for a second and Seishini nearly got past his defence. If Hyorinmaru hadn't acted on his own again he would've been toast.

_Is there any way I can turn her back? _ Hyorinmaru didn't reply. _Hyorinmaru?  
_**Always remember, master, she had a reason to alter her personality. There's always a chance that she turns into a hollow – even if you could change her back. **

With that he kept silent – as much as Toshiro begged him to answer. Still, he felt his zanpakuto's power rush back through his arms and he could feel it: Hyorinmaru was back.

He began to observe Seishini's style to fight and realised that he in fact recognised it. It was strong but had a few holes in it.

Her right side was wide open just as it had been when she had been Momo – not even altering her personality could change that.

They exchanged a few hits before they both changed sides as if they were dancing.

"Muero!" Toshiro's eyes widened and he jumped back to dodge the fireball.

Why not. He smirked and raised his sword as well. Two could play this game.

"Reign over the frosted heavens; Hyorinmaru!" Seishini's smile got wider when the chain at the hilt of his sword appeared.

The white haired gripped the chain tight and began whirling around the moon-shaped blade at the end of it. Seishini dodged it when he let go of it to throw it at her but her zanpakuto got tangled in the chain. With a strong yank he pulled the sword out of her grip.

They stood still, Toshiro still in his stance the tip of his sword pointed at Seishini's throat. For a second she looked like a deer in the headlights before she broke into a grin.  
"That's great news, Shiro – Sorry, Toshiro." she hurried to correct herself when she saw the pained expression on his face but he just waved it off.

"Call me what you want to call me. It doesn't matter to me."

"But I don't want to cause you pain..." Seishini protested. "If you continue to flinch every time I call you Shiro..."

"I said, it's okay." he cut her off. "See, I can't hide inside my protecting shell forever. I have to move on."

"Okay..." Seishini murmured. "Well, anyways, what I wanted to say that it's great news that you finally got your zanpakuto back!"

Toshiro smiled warmly. "You can't imagine how happy I am about that right now. I had already begun to think that I lost him forever."

"Really?" Seishini gasped. "I would've gone crazy without my Daremonai!"

"So, what kind of person is your Daremonai?"

She frowned. "What do you mean? A sword is a sword, not a person."

That was weird. "Doesn't she talk to you?"

Seishini shook her head. "No. Does Hyorinmaru?"

"He's actually a really proud guy, but when I really need him he can give me some friendly advice," Toshiro answered. How was Seishini able to do Shikai without being able to talk to her zanpakuto?

"That's weird. To imagine to have a sword that can talk back to you..."

"It's not weird at all. It's really cool at some times."

"Do you think Daremonai can talk too?" Seishini asked, her eyes wide.

"I'm pretty sure. You have to try sit down and meditate to get into your inner world."

"Wow." She looked almost like a little child with that expression. "Can you show me how to do it?"

Toshiro chuckled – for the first time since Momo had died. "Sure, but not today. I have to do loads of paperwork before the sun goes down because I doubt that my lieutenant has done it for me."

Seishini laughed. "Okay, then see you tomorrow! And don't forget to ask your captain about me."

"Will do," the ex-captain answered and smiled before flash stepping away.

* * *

Later that afternoon Toshiro was back in his office doing the paperwork.  
_I should have known that Rangiku wouldn't do it.  
_**She's always been like that; you should've known better.  
**_I know. You don't have to rub it in. _

"A request for new training swords?" Toshiro shrugged, pulled out a fresh sheet of paper, dipped the brush into the ink bottle and wanted to start writing when he hesitated. That would be the moment when...

"TOSHIRO!"

"I knew it." he groaned. "Please, lieutenant, how many times do I have to tell you to knock before you burst into my office?"

His spiritual pressure let the room temperature drop by at least ten degrees.  
Rangiku shivered. "Wow, it's way back you last froze everything over when I burst into your office." she mumbled. Then she broke into a grin. "Does that mean you've got Hyorinmaru back?"  
He nodded.  
"When was the last time you slept?"  
"Last night."  
"When was the last time you ate?"  
"This morning."  
"Wow." Rangiku nodded and smiled. "Seems you're finally getting over her."

With that last comment she turned around and walked out of his office again. Toshiro let out a sigh of relieve and set the brush onto the paper once again.

"Dear Head Captain, we, the soul reapers of the tenth division..."

"TOSHIROOOOO!"

"YOU'RE DOING THAT ON PURPOSE, DO YOU?!" he yelled and jumped up from his now messed up letter to chase a laughing Rangiku down the corridor. "You know I now have my zanpakuto back and you're still pestering me? Are you suizidal?" he shouted after her when she got out of the barracks and increased her flash step.

He could have followed her if he had wanted to but he knew that this was exactly what she wanted to achieve. Well, when he was out of his office he could still head for captain Abarai to ask him concerning Seishini. He shrugged and turned around to get back into the barracks once again.

**Mystery solved!**

**Or at least parts of it... Well, I rewrote this chapter because Hyorinmaru was out of character; furthermore because I wrote myself into a dead end.  
****So read on, the next chapter's already up!  
****School's almost over :)**


	5. Nicknames

**Hi, guys!  
School's almost over and I finally found time to update :)**

**First: REALLY IMPORTANT!  
Please reread the fourth chapter, I rewrote it because of reasons I explained in the author's notes at the end of it.  
If you haven't read it with the changes I made you won't understand why they act as they do and that would be a shame.**

**Second: Thanks for all those who reviewed, followed or faved the story, you're awesome!**

**Third: I own Tatsuhiro and Tatsumi. The rest belongs to Tite Kubo. (For those who didn't understand this: This should be a disclaimer.)**

* * *

"Seishini?" Renji cocked an eyebrow. "And you're sure you don't know her last name?"

"Um..." If he was honest he hadn't thought about that. "I don't know if she actually has one. She comes from the outer Rungokai district. Kids sometimes don't even have last names when they enter the academy."

Renji let out a heavy sigh but when he looked at Toshiro again he smiled. "I'm sure it doesn't matter. Just ask her the next time you run into her."

"Thanks, captain, I appreciate it." Toshiro grinned.

"Jeez, you've got quite a knack for her, have you?"

Toshiro blushed furiously. "I... I don't..." he stuttered.

Renji laughed. "Glad you're finally getting over Momo."

_Well, not the way you think... _

"So, see you around." Renji waved his hands in a 'dismissed'-gesture and Toshiro fled from the office before Renji could ask more embarrassing questions.

He thought about what he could do now that everything he needed to do was done. To be concise he didn't have any hobbies at all. Everything he did and had done for all his career as a soul reaper was finishing paperwork other people didn't, talk to Momo and all in all doing his job. Yes, he had worked hard all his life.  
"I think I need a break.", he muttered smiling. Get a life, as the substitute soul reaper would call it. With a wide smile he flash stepped away. Maybe he would visit Seishini and ask her about her last name.

* * *

He didn't know how it happened, but he ended up playing chess with Yachiru.

"Check."

Yachiru put her right index finger into her mouth and stared at the knight Toshiro had put in front of her King. Normally everybody had a firm intention of losing against her because they would be killed by her Kenny if there would actually be somebody who could defeat her, but Toshiro wasn't afraid of that. After all, he was the one who did squad eleven's paperwork so they wouldn't kill him for their own sake. At least, he hoped so.

Yachiru set her king aside. Toshiro put his knight in front of it again.

"Well, you stepped right into my trap!" the little pink haired girl squealed, delighted, and faster than the ex-captain could comprehend it his knight was replaced by the little girl's rook.  
"Check Mate!"

Toshiro stared at the rook that stood on the black square and threatened his own king so he couldn't move any further. Could it be...

"Chess is fun! Ukki-chan taught it to me!"

"Um... Do you mean Ukitake?" Toshiro sweat dropped.

"If you like to call him that..." Yachiru pouted. "I personally like Ukki-chan better."

Toshiro sighed. Who would've thought that little Yachiru was actually good at playing chess...

"Why did you decide to play chess with me anyways? I thought you'd gotten depressed when Peachy died?"

Toshiro sighed and noticed with a tilt of surprise that it didn't hurt to talk about it. "I thought I could use some distraction," he answered.

Yachiru grinned. "That's good. I thought I could call you 'Depressy' the next time I meet you, but that sounds silly. So I'm glad you're back to your old self."  
Toshiro chuckled. Something in his head noticed that he had just escaped the fate of being called 'Depressy' for probably the rest of his life. Not a thing to look forward to...

"Wanna play another game?" Yachiru asked smiling.

"Sorry, Yachi, but I'm going to meet up with somebody," he explained.

"Wow, you actually gave me a nickname!" she shouted in joy. "And it's a pretty cute one too! I didn't know you were capable of something like that, Grumpy!"

Toshiro grimaced. He had forgot about the nickname she had already given him.

"I see, you don't really like your nickname." Yachiru put her index finger into her mouth again and frowned. "I think I can change it."

"Really?" That would be the first time in history that Yachiru would change somebody's nickname just because they didn't like it.

"Yeah, I'm honestly thinking about it. Still, there's one condition."

Oh my. "Okay, what do you want?"

"I wanna come along to your date!"

"I...It's not a date..." Toshiro stuttered, but Yachiru wiped away his protest with a wave of her hand.

"Whatever, I want to come along. I thought you wanted to get rid of your nickname?"

Well, what harm could it do? It wasn't a date, he would just meet up with Seishini to ask her about her last name – and maybe to find a way to turn her back.

"Sure. Why not?"

"Yay!" Yachiru cheered, grabbed her zanpakuto and jumped on his back. "Let's go!"

Sighing the ex-captain couldn't help but smile before he exited the division's barracks and flash stepped away. That would certainly get interesting.

* * *

"We have to go that way!"

Toshiro sighed. "You don't even know where we are going, Yachiru."

"I don't care! You have to go that way, or we'll never reach our destination!"

"Are you pointing in the direction of the next ramen restaurant?" the ex-captain asked, annoyed. "I thought you wanted to see the girl I'm meeting."

Yachiru's face brightened. "Yeah, sure! But don't you two kiss in front of me! Kissing is yuck!"

"For the third and the last time, we won't kiss. We're just friends."

"Yeah, I know. Ikkaku already told me. 'Just friends' is a phrase to describe lovers who haven't announced their relationship yet."

"That's nonsense! 'Just friends' can also mean that two people are friends. Without kissing and so on!" Toshiro groaned. He should had foreseen that.

Yachiru tilted her head. "What do you mean with 'and so on'?"

Oh my. No, he wouldn't give her the talk. He was not responsible for that kind of stuff. "Holding hands, all that romantic stuff, you know."

"Oh." That shut her up for a while. Maybe she was thinking about that.

"Are we there yet?"  
"No."  
"Now?"  
"No."  
"Move faster then, I'm dying from boredom here!"  
"You wanted to come along, so please don't blame me!"  
Yachiru sighed and stayed quiet.

Finally the academy appeared in front of them. "Now we're here," Toshiro sighed and smiled.

Yachiru nibbled her index finger. "So you're seeing somebody from the academy?"  
"Yeah."

"Shiro! You're here!"

Toshiro turned around and smiled. There she was, her zanpakuto hastily tucked under her belt, her hair tied into a ponytail.

Yachiru gasped. "Is that... Peachy?"

Seishini slowed down and tilted her head. "Toshiro, won't you introduce me to your friend here?"

The ex-captain grinned. "Sure. Yachiru, this is Seishini. Seishini, this is Yachiru Kusajishi, lieutenant of the eleventh division."

"Wow, you're a lieutenant already?" Seishini asked, her eyes wide.

Yachiru nodded proudly. "Yeah, Kenny made me one. Why do you look exactly like Peachy?"

"Peachy?"

"She means Momo," Toshiro explained, rolling his eyes. "She used to call her that when she was still alive."

"Oh." Seishini kept silent for a second before smiling at Yachiru again. "I don't know. A lot of people tell me I do, though."

Toshiro smiled. "So, Yachiru, now you've met her, you can go back home now."

"I won't!" Yachiru exclaimed and crossed her arms. "I'm a lieutenant, so you can't tell me what to do!"

"We could visit my brothers," Seishini suggested. "She seems to be their age and Tatsuhiro always searches for opponents. If she's a lieutenant she'll certainly be a match for him."

"You've got siblings?" Yachiru asked wide eyed.

"Sure, that was what I was saying. One of them really likes fighting. Do you?"

Yachiru gasped. "I _love_ fighing!" she exclaimed. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

Seishini glanced at Toshiro. The ex-captain shrugged. "I don't mind. Let's visit your brothers."

"Yay!" Yachiru squealed and took Seishini's hand. "Come on, Peachy Two!"

"She likes to give people nicknames," Toshiro explained with a shrug when Seishini shot him an awkward glance.

* * *

"Sis, you're here!" Tatsuhiro exclaimed when the three soul reaper left the woods. The twins ran as fast as they could but of course Tatsuhiro left his brother far behind and tackled Seishini first. "Great to see you!"

"Hiro, you're nearly knocking me over!" Seishini protested, laughing. "I've brought you somebody to practice fighting with."

Tatsuhiro's eyes began to gleam. "Really?"

Tatsumi arrived next to his sister after his twin and hugged her waist, glancing at Tatsuhiro worriedly.

Toshiro frowned. He now understood why Seishini had compared him to Tatsumi, the shyer one of the twins, the boy that was all brains, not as explosive und expulsive.

Tatsuhiro wasn't like him. He was more the Zaraki-type of loner whose only goal was to be the strongest of all. Toshiro now was glad that Yachiru was just like that or the little girl would've been dead meat within the first seconds of their fight.

Seishini pointed in Yachiru's direction. The girl smiled. "Hi, I'm Yachi, what's your name?"

Hiro's face fell. He whirled around to face Seishini again. "That little girl?" he hissed. "I'm almost afraid to kill her. What shall I do with her? Can she even lift her own sword?"

Seishini shrugged. Toshiro chuckled. "Don't be fooled by her looks and her cheerful attitude. She's the lieutenant of squad eleven, the division of the most ruthless swordsmen. So instead of worrying about her you should worry about yourself..."

Hiro snorted. "I'll teach her a lesson."

"Just try to make a good first impression or you'll be stuck with a horrible nickname for the rest of your life, even before you've entered the thirteen court guard squads," Toshiro replied with a shrug and stepped back.

"Are you ready now?" Yachiru asked and tilted her head. "If you're afraid to face me I can fight you with my eyes closed. That would make things easier for you."

"I'm not afraid," Tatsuhiro managed to say through his clenched teeth and drew his sword from his back. "Have you found your zanpakuto's name yet?"

Yachiru shook her head and sent her pink hair flying. "I don't need a sword that talks back to me. I can manage by myself, I always have. I just need Kenny."

"Then this is a fair fight!" Tatsuhiro smirked and took a stance. "Draw your sword, little pink, I'm going to enjoy this."

Yachiru blinked, then smiled. "You're just like Kenny!" She took the handle of her sword with one hand, the sheath with the other and held it there. "Now, then. Let's begin."

There was something in Yachiru's eyes that made Toshiro shiver. The little girl was definitely spending too much time with her Kenny. It was the same type of sick glee that would make you wonder if Yachiru really was as innocent as she seemed. Maybe she wasn't even aware of it.  
There was the same expression in Tatsuhiro's eyes as well. It was the anger of somebody who had grown up alone, spending every day fighting for his life; his and somebody else's.

Quicker than even Toshiro could comprehend it the little girl had drawn her sword from its sheath and had charged in at Tatsuhiro who hastily parried at the last moment before the metal could pierce his white skin. Just a second later all traces of surprise left his face and made way for absolute ambition to win this fight, no matter what.

Just a moment later he jumped to attack as well, moving with the power of a tiger jumping at his prey. Luckily Yachiru was quick to react.

"They fight well for their age," Seishini noted. Toshiro could do nothing but nod. He had never seen Yachiru fight before but now he understood that she was more than just a little girl that Zaraki favoured.

"With that kind of technique Tatsuhiro could enrol the academy and pass every exam on swordsmanship immediately. If he fights like this all the time he could even join squad eleven without even attending the academy!"

"He would never leave Tatsumi behind," Seishini explained. "I already told him that he had great chances if he just wanted, but he'd rather stay in the slums than abandon his brother."

Yachiru ducked to escape a potential fatal blow from Tatsuhiro's sword and answered by attacking his legs. Again, Tatsuhiro escaped by a millisecond and jumped back.

"By the way, I asked my captain if you could join us after graduation," Toshiro began.

"Really? What did he say?"

"He told me that he will think about it once he saw your fighting style." This was the moment. "He also told me to ask you for your last name. If you have one."

Seishini scratched her nose. "I'm not entirely sure about that. I hadn't had a name when I awoke in Hueco Mundo. Aizen had named me Seishini Mezameru and as much I hated him, I stuck to the name because I had no other."

"I understand," Toshiro muttered even though he didn't. He couldn't imagine waking up with partial amnesia, being a total different person.

Seishini seemed to watch the fight between Tatsuhiro and Yachiru but her eyes stared into nowhere.  
"You know, sometimes I feel like I've known you forever. You can't imagine how weird this feeling is, knowing that you know the person you talk to by heart while desperately trying to remember where you met them. Like you were their friend in another life. Maybe even lovers..."

Toshiro kept silent. He knew that his voice would probably break if he tried to say something.

"This was really fun!" Yachiru exclaimed as she pointed the tip of her sword right at the vital point at Tatsuhiro's boy swallowed nervously but Toshiro knew that the fight was over. The scary glint in Yachiru's eyes was gone and she was back to her usual cheerful self. "We really have to repeat that."

From the side of the space they had used to fight Tatsumi began to clap. "Full points for style, both of you." Tatsuhiro smiled at his brother's compliment and bowed before picking up his dropped sword and sliding it back into its sheath. "Good fight," he smiled and offered Yachiru his hand. "I underestimated you greatly."

"Most people do," Yachiru smiled, showing no intention of shaking Hiro's hand. "I also came up with a nickname for you. I guess I'll call you Shirotora, the white tiger."

Toshiro gaped at her. That was the first time in history that she'd given somebody a nickname that was actually cool...

"No, wait, that's too long. I think I'll shorten it to Tori," the little girl mused, then broke into a grin. "Yeah, Tori it is."

Tatsuhiro stared at her. "I think I'll just call you Yachi, then," he replied.

"I'm fine with that," Yachiru smiled. "Come on, Grumpy, Peachy two, we have to get back!"

Toshiro groaned. "Yachi, you forgot something there."

"Oh, yeah, I promised you another nickname..." She nibbled her index finger. "Huh... What could I call you... You're not depressed anymore, you're not that grumpy anymore..." Suddenly her face lit up and she snapped her fingers. "Now I know! Lover-boy!"

Seishini had to bite back a laugh as Toshiro gaped at the small lieutenant.

"Now come on, I promised Kenny to be back before sunset!"

* * *

**Yeah, Yachiru got a major part in that one. So she's either really good at chess or our dear Toshiro is quite bad at it...  
I hope you like it because it was really fun to write that chapter. Especially thinking of nicknames for all of them :D**

**Sooo, please review, reviews motivate me to write on! **

**Found any mistakes? Please report them to me. **

**I've got an A in my English-lessons :) I hope I deserved it. **

**I wish everybody great summer-/winter-holidays. Have a good time! **


End file.
